September 2016 (252 tweets)

• Sep 30, 2016 11:26 PM@jchmartin @antolnar @0x9900 @hutorrr Le sigh. https://t.co/6Z8EL5DteI
• Sep 30, 2016 11:24 PM@hutorrr Au revoir et bonne chance!
• Sep 30, 2016 4:16 PM@jchmartin and @BobWeir appear to be converging. https://t.co/HQNlD4bUkY 📷
• Sep 30, 2016 4:10 PMRT @MagicRealismBot: A firefly is exacting revenge upon Donald Trump.
• Sep 30, 2016 4:08 PM@FrenchPaperCo #GoPackGo
• Sep 30, 2016 1:55 PMRT @adambain: ⚡️ "Remember that Tweet you left a few years ago?" https://t.co/BcjILv0fJD
• Sep 30, 2016 4:46 AM@firepile A+
• Sep 30, 2016 12:22 AM@davidjrusek Postmortemism
• Sep 29, 2016 11:51 PMRT @darby: SREs improve availability, scalability, performance & reliability of Twitter’s production services. Come join us! https://t.co/x…
• Sep 29, 2016 11:28 PM@davidjrusek the game doesn't start until Saturday afternoon, but your early acceptance of the inevitable is commendable. #OnWisconsin
• Sep 29, 2016 5:54 PM@shellen @waxpancake I'll be disappointed if that rel tag isn't pronounced "amphetyml" by Google's AMP team.
• Sep 29, 2016 4:39 PM@Eigenvariable that's quite reasonable. As is my usual request that the screener put on a fresh pair of rubber gloves before handling my ID.
• Sep 29, 2016 2:38 PM@peterseibel @johngreathouse that's probably because he just uses his initials when curating first impressions online.
• Sep 29, 2016 1:55 PMRT @SFBART: Our thoughts are with @NJTRANSIT employees, riders and first responders at #Hoboken station right now.
• Sep 29, 2016 1:19 PMRT @big_Poppa_Chop: NJ transit train just crashed in Hoboken terminal. https://t.co/ZevCYtYx8C 📷
• Sep 29, 2016 1:03 PMRT @schuetzematt: @TonyPrintezis holding court at Detroit Java User Group. #TwitterVMTeam #DJUG https://t.co/fgVAU5fcmK 📷
• Sep 29, 2016 12:59 PM@towns Wow! That's awesome John...looking good!
• Sep 29, 2016 11:43 AM@towns why not? Lactose intolerance?
• Sep 29, 2016 3:22 AMCurrent dinner status. https://t.co/tQta4GcUel 📷
• Sep 29, 2016 2:41 AM@fvrojas @pragashjj s/Doda/Dosa
• Sep 29, 2016 2:32 AM@fvrojas @pragashjj Beretta, BigMouth Burgers, Papa Lote, and Doda are just up the street
• Sep 28, 2016 9:37 PMRT @davidjrusek: Colorado, make sure you're registered https://t.co/MrvarVAJPG
• Sep 28, 2016 8:58 PMRT @avibryant: This NYT review of a book on Hitler's ascent is a masterful article-length subtweet. https://t.co/0kWnfnjobU
• Sep 28, 2016 8:07 PM@soozinbird pretty sure the folks at @melvillehouse will be more than happy to sell you one. https://t.co/05nhqbwkSx
• Sep 28, 2016 4:55 PM@gpapilion jokes about scrivening play well on nerd and liberal arts Twitter cc: @melvillehouse
• Sep 28, 2016 3:47 PM@davidjrusek our seemingly long regional nightmare of temperatures above 80° is seemingly over. Or so it seems.
• Sep 28, 2016 3:43 PMFog, Glorious Fog
• Sep 28, 2016 11:00 AMDaily reminder. https://t.co/iX6d8aa1jF 📷
• Sep 28, 2016 1:22 AMRT @feliciaday: I got an air purifier that has an "air quality meter" on it and when I fart, totally serious, it turns red and goes turbo.…
• Sep 28, 2016 12:21 AMRT @torrez: There's a man with an angry sounding beehive outside City Hall. He just keeps yelling "Bees!". https://t.co/4BCdJ34xeS 📷
• Sep 28, 2016 12:19 AMRT @ryanoneill: ⚡️ "Brian Anderson is the first pro skateboarder to come out" https://t.co/Jni0szfDd3
• Sep 28, 2016 12:19 AMRT @realskateboards: A huge high five and hug to one of my all all all time favorites. Skateboarding is lucky to have you ❤️ - Jim Photo M…
• Sep 27, 2016 6:58 AMRT @solosyrah: Woah! RT @BillMartinKTVU: Loma Prieta fire form Santa Cruz https://t.co/0mRlOOxRV4 📷
• Sep 27, 2016 4:40 AMRT @jessicahische: How @HillaryClinton does anything but punch holes in walls all day is beyond me
• Sep 27, 2016 4:35 AMMany people are saying... https://t.co/0czP731Bvv
• Sep 27, 2016 4:09 AM@soozinbird @Seinfeld2000 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
• Sep 27, 2016 4:07 AMRT @Seinfeld2000: debate recap https://t.co/KfnaH6C7pw 🎥
• Sep 27, 2016 4:02 AMRT @HillaryClinton: RT this if you're proud to be standing with Hillary tonight. #debatenight https://t.co/91tBmKxVMs 📷
• Sep 26, 2016 8:32 PM@gmacisme "...where all our exceptions are above average."
• Sep 26, 2016 7:24 PM@soozinbird 😬
• Sep 26, 2016 3:01 PMRT @kellan: Listing to @timoreilly and thinking storytelling is the most under appreciated skill in technology
• Sep 26, 2016 5:50 AMSpotted a killdeer and a couple snowy egrets at Rodeo Lagoon this afternoon. https://t.co/VOGYJj7YqJ 📷
• Sep 26, 2016 4:28 AMRT @peterhartlaub: Underrated parenting milestone: Explaining to kids that we had them in small part (like 3%) because we may need a future…
• Sep 25, 2016 9:42 PMRT @greenberg: I'm trying to teach my daughter that well behaved women seldom make history while also teaching her that less biting would b…
• Sep 25, 2016 8:29 PMFun field trip to the @TMMC over in Sausalito. https://t.co/hS7aVZMNZi 🎥
• Sep 25, 2016 6:07 AMI saw the best minds of my generation mistype their passwords, over and over again, while trying to log in to their computers.
• Sep 25, 2016 1:21 AM@davidjrusek #OnWisconsin https://t.co/o4SG5CKLtz 📷
• Sep 24, 2016 8:30 PMGot a little beach time in after swimming lessons. https://t.co/mhCGerySqr 📷
• Sep 24, 2016 8:20 PMRT @CornellBarnard: SFPD has evacuated all of Civic Center plaza @ city hall. Standoff w/ man, possibly armed continues.#abc7now https://t…
• Sep 24, 2016 2:16 PMRT @Stammy: TIL there is a macro lens that looks like this so you don't scare tiny wildlife by getting too close https://t.co/q2I0nEFwky 📷
• Sep 24, 2016 4:54 AMSeems like a good time to start rewatching Ken Burns's "The Civil War".
• Sep 24, 2016 4:01 AMRT @onlxn: Ted Cruz is the one being vile enough to unite us all again, he is the fake alien in Watchmen
• Sep 24, 2016 3:34 AMRT @AmosGoldbaum: 🎉 FOUND 🎉 The Interceptor has been recovered! Thanks so much to everyone who RT'ed and kept an eye out! https://t.co/YOKR…
• Sep 24, 2016 3:31 AMRT @deray: y'all see this? https://t.co/zd8xbvL3SA
• Sep 24, 2016 2:54 AMRT @jeremiahg: If the Yahoo breach disrupts the purchase by Verizon, what does it say about InfoSec’s business value. If not, what does tha…
• Sep 24, 2016 12:34 AMShout out to @joyousx and the Core Services team for letting the Observability folks tag along on an awesome offsite! https://t.co/9EQc4TL1… 📷
• Sep 23, 2016 4:23 PMDriving to work this morning I remembered how much I ♡ @SFBART and @sfmta_muni.
• Sep 23, 2016 4:34 AMRT @SarahKSilverman: THANK YOU JESUS https://t.co/aUFRcNYtXV
• Sep 23, 2016 1:59 AMRT @laurenduca: Ahahahahhaahha this is actually so fucking bad https://t.co/2VkdQOoP0W
• Sep 23, 2016 1:58 AMRT @mattblaze: Sorry, but if you have a Yahoo account, you will need to find a new mother, and have grown up on a different street. https:/…
• Sep 23, 2016 12:31 AMMy excitement over @twitter's @NFL streaming has been somewhat tempered by the realization that every #TNF game will feature #ColorRush unis
• Sep 23, 2016 12:19 AM@ThomasDBradley @bluemangroup @DeionSanders actually those are the #ColorRush @Patriots uniforms
• Sep 22, 2016 3:59 PMRT @bridgetkromhout: Distributed tracing (@zipkinproject) is a good way to troubleshoot latency in microservices. @reshmi9k #velocityconf h…
• Sep 22, 2016 3:10 PM@spaceriker Your powers of recall are simultaneously impressive and underwhelming.
• Sep 22, 2016 2:28 PM@spaceriker this has happened to you before?
• Sep 22, 2016 2:22 PM@TheMagFields what is that? Looks like a bass ukelele!
• Sep 21, 2016 7:54 PMRT @cordeliadillon: Twitter PSA: You can (& should!) add alt text to images you tweet so everyone can access them. Super easy to set up: ht…
• Sep 21, 2016 7:12 PMRT @MeCookieMonster: Dis is just to say Me have eaten the cookies that were in the cookie jar
• Sep 21, 2016 5:52 PMRT @GreatDismal: The *gleeful* anti-semitism of some Trump supporters on Twitter surpasses anything I've seen in mainstream American discou…
• Sep 21, 2016 2:59 PMRT @blackbirds: We’re sick of seeing names trend because they were killed brutally and unjustly. We demand change. #BlackLivesMatter https:…
• Sep 21, 2016 2:34 PMRT @adambain: All of the 2016 US presidential #debates will be streamed LIVE on Twitter through our partnership with @bpolitics https://t.c…
• Sep 21, 2016 5:49 AM@PTI I did miss it. WTF did you pull it from @iTunes? Guess I'll be listening to a different sports podcast from now on. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
• Sep 21, 2016 5:43 AMShout out to @espn for pulling their podcasts from @iTunes and replacing tonight's @PTI with 30 mins of a looping ad for their shitty app.
• Sep 21, 2016 4:36 AM@srw @amazon https://t.co/ORSIWdfATw 🎥
• Sep 21, 2016 4:28 AM@srw @amazon pretty sure that many of these packing decisions are runtime decisions made by warehouse staff who are, understandably, high AF
• Sep 21, 2016 4:11 AMRT @AmosGoldbaum: 🚨🚨 MISSING 🚨🚨 My interceptor was stolen from Bernal yesterday. If you've seen it please contact me. RT if you can https:/…
• Sep 21, 2016 3:26 AM@jco #dadfave
• Sep 21, 2016 3:19 AM@secretasianman @davidjrusek @twalex @bx https://t.co/4lHO4AavYE 🎥
• Sep 21, 2016 3:14 AM@Noahpinion @pmarca yeah, but tbh Humanities majors are *way* more fun to work with.
• Sep 21, 2016 3:10 AMRT @karthikz: @DavidRusek - talking about EventBus and Distributed Log at #TwitterRealTime event in @twitter HQ. https://t.co/e8CdpeCccc 📷
• Sep 21, 2016 2:51 AMRT @MasterTes: If you still hate Colin Kaepernick at this point, you should probably do some self-examination.
• Sep 20, 2016 11:57 PM@mmihic #tuunbaq https://t.co/2AWDQwBZsQ
• Sep 20, 2016 8:30 PM@ShitRoachWikis sure beats "SEV-0", etc.
• Sep 20, 2016 7:08 PM@chtemplin that is a weird looking apple
• Sep 20, 2016 5:09 PM@davidjrusek I keep trying to add the messaging team to the email, but you have decided to use a team DL that doesn't start with "messaging"
• Sep 20, 2016 5:08 PM@davidjrusek I send a "Donuts in the PE lounge." email out every Friday, but only get a new box every few weeks. #lifehacks
• Sep 20, 2016 5:04 PMRT @joyding: we're hiring a product manager to work on the home timeline, one of the most critically important parts of twitter! https://t…
• Sep 20, 2016 4:57 PM*Synthetic birdshit rains down onto conference attendees as swarms of JINI™ powered drones extrude thermoplastic 30ft above them.* #JavaOne…
• Sep 20, 2016 4:24 PMTough day to have the Twitter handle "@stumpf"! https://t.co/85YIx9haYB
• Sep 20, 2016 2:31 PMSpent a few cathartic minutes this AM practicing my Hindi curse words by calling back the *early* AM IRS robo-dial scammers. https://t.co/I… 📷
• Sep 20, 2016 2:18 PM@darlin @lpolgreen maybe we'd have more sympathy for the robots if they brought goodie bags onto the plane for the other passengers?
• Sep 20, 2016 10:59 AM@paulg @inconvergent "i got to here" "here too" "hello" "hello 1" "hello 2" Exception in thread "main" java.lang.NullPointerException
• Sep 20, 2016 5:57 AMRT @laurenduca: .@DonaldJTrumpJr Which one of the Skittles is this? https://t.co/WQ9B905KbP 📷
• Sep 20, 2016 5:06 AMRT @SethAbramovitch: A rep for @Skittles gives me their response to @DonaldJTrumpJr https://t.co/OmkJQkIqug 📷
• Sep 20, 2016 4:56 AMRT @marcusgilmer: Skittles PR team staring at Twitter rn https://t.co/lCWaho0C6O 🎥
• Sep 20, 2016 4:55 AMRT @djspiewak: YAML is like what would happen if JSON and Python fell in love and had a baby, then gave that baby up for adoption, to be ra…
• Sep 20, 2016 2:34 AMRT @ltearno: Twitter shows how they tweak JVM parameters with #MachineLearning #JavaOne @TwitterEng https://t.co/zUnM9am0U8
• Sep 20, 2016 2:33 AMRT @ltearno: Manual optimization vs automated optimization! #jvm #MachineLearning #JavaOne @TwitterEng https://t.co/7lKuHkChrk
• Sep 20, 2016 2:33 AMRT @AndriiRodionov: Machine learning for JVM performance turning #JavaOne https://t.co/CUx7GGBnsg 📷
• Sep 20, 2016 2:32 AMRT @ltearno: @TwitterEng 250+ JVM parameters influence performance! And they are all related! #jvm #JavaOne #Microservices https://t.co/lPu…
• Sep 20, 2016 12:10 AMRT @JavaOneConf: Live 5:30 pm: Automated Tuning of the #JVM with Bayesian Optimization #JavaOne #Java https://t.co/T6pjlIxZxO https://t.co…
• Sep 19, 2016 5:22 PM@TonyPrintezis ah yes, the weekend Glen Park to Balboa gap...Glen Park is my neighborhood...hope you enjoyed your stay while waiting for bus
• Sep 19, 2016 5:13 PMRT @joyding: IT'S HAPPENING <3 https://t.co/hPGdkMPbU5
• Sep 19, 2016 1:39 AM@burritojustice @KarlTheFog https://t.co/C15TDuF9Bc 📷
• Sep 18, 2016 10:42 PM@javawithjiva @normanmaurer @ysr1729 @TrackPoint10 @awiltsch we'll do a detailed post on @TwitterEng blog soon. Hope that lessens the FOMO!
• Sep 18, 2016 10:23 PMRT @FitzTheReporter: BREAKING: Rose Pak is dead. https://t.co/drUdaltB7G https://t.co/EPDB1mqa3d 📷
• Sep 18, 2016 9:45 PM@trichris I moved here because I was promised a perpetual autumn chill.
• Sep 18, 2016 9:42 PM@trichris Ugh! 👏🏼 Ugh! 👏🏼 Ugh! 👏🏼
• Sep 18, 2016 9:35 PM@ltearno check out Twitter's #JavaOne talk on our ML and JVM research tomorrow (Monday) afternoon by @ysr1729, @awiltsch and @TrackPoint10!
• Sep 18, 2016 1:14 AM@GreenScreenCine @anthonynoto loving that Twitter is opening it's live product with strong focus on the Buffalo demographic #GoBills
• Sep 17, 2016 9:19 PM@paul_c_nichols been there... https://t.co/gIUrkO7ZCB
• Sep 17, 2016 8:19 PMRT @adambain: 2.3 million people streamed the NFL on Twitter last night and loved it https://t.co/D21k98v3T3
• Sep 17, 2016 7:53 PM@ChrisThalinger one day...
• Sep 17, 2016 4:11 PMRT @jcp_org: #JCP EC F2F Meeting complete - presentations by @m0mus, @Java_EE Spec Leads, @nmcl @mmilinkov @mnnakamura... summary and mater…
• Sep 17, 2016 2:56 AM@jchmartin @antolnar @0x9900 oui, @hutorrr is still here
• Sep 17, 2016 2:34 AMRT @jaykreps: Good hacker news comment on Microservices https://t.co/1PGeSAfzQX https://t.co/1q1JivmBJu 📷
• Sep 17, 2016 12:30 AMRT @TonyPrintezis: Q4 roadmap planning. Cheers! /cc @dirtywatersf https://t.co/GK9qJcqN0u 📷
• Sep 16, 2016 6:20 PMRT @jonnysun: this best thing abt this gif is how twitter totally ethered the guy asking if anyone could help him move https://t.co/yhJTxug…
• Sep 16, 2016 6:11 PMRT @marius: a conversation this a.m. reminded me about this about this amazing story of civil engineering https://t.co/NzNtBGxlhn
• Sep 16, 2016 5:20 AM@Flickr @tedd4u oh man...*please* tell me this feature will get ported to the new AppleTV/tvOS. Fuck this Apple Photos/iCloud bullshit.
• Sep 16, 2016 5:18 AMI've made a huge mistake. https://t.co/m4sm3dfzhQ 📷
• Sep 16, 2016 4:26 AMOnce I got it up and running, it was pretty awesome watching a @buffalobills game on Twitter on my dad's giant TV https://t.co/sqTh1CxPbo 📷
• Sep 16, 2016 4:10 AMRT @BChap_6: It sucks being a Bills fan
• Sep 16, 2016 4:01 AMRT @BChap_6: Rex Ryan is the dumbest coach in the NFL
• Sep 16, 2016 12:35 AMCurrent Twitter AppleTV status. https://t.co/QZsXHVgaLX 📷
• Sep 16, 2016 12:26 AMCurrent Twitter AppleTV status. https://t.co/rkDzJFL6DU 📷
• Sep 16, 2016 12:10 AMRT @TwitterSports: We're LIVE with #TNF pre-game coverage of #NYJvsBUF! Watch NOW 👇 https://t.co/PRSpY6Xoqv
• Sep 15, 2016 8:54 PMRT @TonyPrintezis: .@mnnakamura presenting at the @JCP face-to-face meeting. https://t.co/G9eAka00cu 📷
• Sep 15, 2016 6:46 PM"Several people are typing..." is a pretty good description of the audience when I'm giving a talk.
• Sep 15, 2016 6:08 PMRT @NumbersMuncher: This is an Amazon review that is well thought out, concise, and gets right to the heart of the problem. https://t.co/Tc…
• Sep 15, 2016 5:46 PM#TNF is LIVE on Twitter this Thursday! #GoBills https://t.co/mbCNgCkDmg https://t.co/cuTiaPvf8C
• Sep 15, 2016 5:42 PM@suziebuxton #GoBills
• Sep 15, 2016 4:51 PMSpotted this common starling on the way into work. https://t.co/EN8kVDTTPP 📷
• Sep 15, 2016 4:47 PMRT @jcp_org: Ready to get started! https://t.co/NgjfHOAisA
• Sep 15, 2016 4:36 PMRT @sangeetan: Not a huge NFL fan(except when 49ers are in playoffs) but this is another sign of the future https://t.co/rZmkcMn2Tl
• Sep 15, 2016 5:40 AMRT @tperzyk: Twitter: the #1 free app for #AppleTV https://t.co/ZYi7tkYV9V 📷
• Sep 14, 2016 7:22 PMRT @john_overholt: Either a photo of a 1950s steelworker or a comic book supervillain known as The Smelter. https://t.co/rob1B0puVF https:/…
• Sep 14, 2016 4:42 PMThe kid is having a pretty good week in the "stuffed animals hastily purchased at airport newsstands" department.
• Sep 14, 2016 4:41 PMGot home at midnight from my business trip, now dropping the kid off at daycare as @pgarg heads out to airport for *her* business trip.
• Sep 14, 2016 3:06 PM@btaylor it's tomorrow night... #GoBills
• Sep 14, 2016 2:21 PMRT @PopSci: EXCLUSIVE: We talked to the Uber engineer in charge of the company’s driverless car project https://t.co/Bdo8SWvuHX https://t.c…
• Sep 14, 2016 6:23 AM@esten 'twas, in the end, a trap indeed.
• Sep 14, 2016 6:20 AM@iwriterealgood this hypothetical event A) is outside my house? B) involves other people? If "yes" to either A or B it's a nonstarter.
• Sep 14, 2016 5:53 AMÜber or Lyft "Relay" service: travel long distances (say between Seattle and San Francisco) by linking successive local (say ≤ 100mi) rides
• Sep 14, 2016 4:39 AM@davidjrusek if this plane ever gets there I will.
• Sep 14, 2016 4:38 AMI really hate flying. https://t.co/w2UP0nhRzU 📷
• Sep 14, 2016 3:21 AMRT @shatil: They hide it away so no one sees it aging https://t.co/5hPoOOBbQw
• Sep 14, 2016 3:02 AM@heyjoshua on the bright side I've got this to pass the time. Though 90% of it is footnotes AFAICT. https://t.co/Wkjriqh8aw 📷
• Sep 14, 2016 2:58 AM@heyjoshua or rent a car...fuck flying.
• Sep 14, 2016 2:54 AMWelp. I've *finished* tomorrow's @nytimes crossword and we haven't boarded yet. We haven't boarded yet because the plane's not here yet.
• Sep 14, 2016 2:29 AM@jeff_currier yeah, I'm glad I'm still in the terminal. Hope you get there soon!
• Sep 14, 2016 2:27 AMThe upside to my flight being delayed by an hour and a half is that I'll be able to download tomorrow's @nytimes crossword before boarding.
• Sep 14, 2016 2:21 AMSEA ⇢ ✈️ ⇢ SFO
• Sep 14, 2016 1:00 AMRT @doodie: @igb @flySFO @VirginAmerica https://t.co/nz7mf06hom 📷
• Sep 14, 2016 12:54 AMDelays into #SFO? /cc @flySFO @VirginAmerica
• Sep 13, 2016 10:14 PMRT @SFNick: Best part of "Sully": when Sully tracks down bird that crashed plane and says "YOUR GOOSE IS COOKED" as he flicks a cigarette i…
• Sep 13, 2016 5:24 PM@subpop @SeaTacAirport indeed! you'll probably get a few $$ of mine on my way back home :-)
• Sep 13, 2016 4:24 PMNot sure what to make of the @subpop airport concession at @SeaTacAirport. Beats another Hudson News shop? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ https://t.co/IKe41AwzvK 📷
• Sep 13, 2016 1:47 PM@HiveTheory @strangeloop_stl nice...that conf has always seemed pretty awesome...have fun!
• Sep 13, 2016 1:45 PM@HiveTheory heading to @strangeloop_stl?
• Sep 13, 2016 1:03 PMSFO ⇢ ✈️ ⇢ SEA
• Sep 13, 2016 11:56 AM@historylvrsclub @EdwardTufte looks like we get Magneto's helmet around 1490 or so. https://t.co/Aw0UxSJxGc 📷
• Sep 13, 2016 11:45 AMRT @igb: Attending #JavaOne? Check out Twitter's "Automated Tuning of the JVM with Bayesian Optimization" talk by @ysr1729 @TrackPoint10 &…
• Sep 13, 2016 5:18 AMRT @virgiltexas: what the fuck is everyone even talking about anymore https://t.co/K4Xl4hj5Nl 📷
• Sep 13, 2016 5:03 AM@s_m_i @anildash @lexnfx what the hell is "Major League Baseball Ventures"?! Since when (and why) does @MLB have a VC arm?
• Sep 12, 2016 4:48 PM@harrisj @burritojustice manufacturers use the label to inform you that the foil bits in yer burrito are from the taqueria cutting it in 1/2
• Sep 12, 2016 4:40 PMI can't help but admire the optimism of those colleagues who schedule meetings on my calendar before 10AM.
• Sep 12, 2016 3:44 PMRT @KalvinMacleod: WIFE: ur sure the house is baby proofed? ME: *peering out as a horde of angry babies slowly crawls toward the front door…
• Sep 12, 2016 4:53 AM@zmanji we obviously need a new ride-sharing startup to enable pedestrians to consume fast-food during drive-thru service-only hours.
• Sep 12, 2016 4:47 AMRT @NicCageMatch: They could Weekend At Bernie's Hillary through the entire remainder of her campaign & I'd still vote for her over Trump.
• Sep 12, 2016 3:16 AM@mccrabb_will @pmarca as far as business books go, the unauthorized *autobiography* of DeLorean is in my top 5. https://t.co/RGg0SxSuf4
• Sep 12, 2016 2:40 AM"All that is just... [Makes satisfied noise.]" https://t.co/6W16CWSTG8
• Sep 12, 2016 1:45 AMHung out in the Greater San Ramon Area this afternoon with this guy. https://t.co/JJi1JBcebG 📷
• Sep 11, 2016 7:57 PMRT @gln: TIL ladder racing is a thing and it's bananas. https://t.co/OwZFIUlIJr
• Sep 11, 2016 7:57 PMRT @TessaRuid: With 100+ degrees start & likely chilly end, the #Packers could have 100 degree swing from start-end of regular season. ☀️➡️…
• Sep 11, 2016 3:15 AM@gpapilion I've got a good deal on some Glen Park chert if you're interested. Poor quality, bad craftsmanship, but I can get you a lot of it
• Sep 11, 2016 2:18 AMRT @fogus: (Angrily bursts into son's room with laptop) What's this?! Who taught you about eval?! Who!? You, all right?! I learned it by w…
• Sep 10, 2016 8:54 PM@l4stewar it's a different Calder on the cover, I believe
• Sep 10, 2016 6:54 PMRT @HoodlineSF: Hit-And-Run Crash Injures 2, Smashes Corner Store At 18th & Eureka https://t.co/xRVPIGEwG6 by @Braccs https://t.co/m4yGq2p2…
• Sep 10, 2016 4:59 AMRT @SFist: Meet @sundaytakesbart, an accessibility advocate tweeting pictures of piss in BART elevators https://t.co/9HP2Tkvyz6 https://t.c…
• Sep 10, 2016 4:38 AM#ImWithHer https://t.co/IhuoSDTKYS
• Sep 10, 2016 4:29 AMRT @MuseumModernArt: "The idea becomes a machine that makes the art."—Sol LeWitt, born this day in 1928. https://t.co/nzlq0Ko4J0 https://t.…
• Sep 10, 2016 3:52 AM@spaceriker what's TLS? Transport Layer Security? In what context? Twitter? Also, didn't I block you?
• Sep 9, 2016 11:22 PMRT @MachinePix: Fourteen wind turbines in a line. https://t.co/ep7BmW5wmv 📷
• Sep 9, 2016 10:26 PMRT @BritniDWrites: If you #boycottNFL over Kaepernick speaking abt racial injustice & not over the NFL allowing domestic abusers to play, r…
• Sep 9, 2016 10:25 PMRT @nwilborn19: I can think of 99 reasons to #boycottNFL but Colin Kaepernick ain't one.
• Sep 9, 2016 7:08 PM@dizzykooks @twitter better late than never :-)
• Sep 9, 2016 6:58 PMAnyway, thanks @Twitter.
• Sep 9, 2016 6:58 PMFew things have shaped my world view, politics, & perspective over the last decade as much as Twitter has, and for that I'm truly grateful.
• Sep 9, 2016 6:57 PMThese days I feel incredibly fortunate that I get to work (alongside some really great people) on this amazing, ineffable...thing.
• Sep 9, 2016 6:56 PM10 years ago today I signed up for a Twitter account (user number 5649).
• Sep 9, 2016 2:49 PMRT @TwitterIndia: .@Uppolice is the first state to comprehensively roll out #TwitterSeva to provide real-time public service https://t.co/k…
• Sep 9, 2016 5:32 AMRT @darrenrovell: New Atlanta Falcons stadium will feature a 41 1/2 foot falcon, the largest bird sculpture in the world https://t.co/YjIEg…
• Sep 9, 2016 4:04 AMRT @twitter: Football fans: #TNF is LIVE on Twitter next Thursday! Go to Moments on game day to watch #NYJvsBUF. https://t.co/m9KLnfsrma 📷
• Sep 8, 2016 11:37 PMRT @peterhartlaub: "As you Americans say, I f-ed up." In 1968, SFO had its own Bizarro "Miracle on the Hudson": https://t.co/pT1C8hS54Y htt…
• Sep 8, 2016 8:19 PMRT @JDiamond1: I asked @realDonaldTrump about his praise for invasion of Iraq in March 03. His response: "You know what that meant" https:/…
• Sep 8, 2016 7:49 PMFaster search for animated GIFs would dramatically improve my overall productivity.
• Sep 8, 2016 5:30 PMThe new DM read receipts feature will make it difficult for me to convince @spaceriker that I didn't see his messages.
• Sep 8, 2016 5:12 PM@Bobosphere *enlightened*
• Sep 8, 2016 5:10 PM@Bobosphere you kind of lost me on this one. Won't this create a hyper-concentrated seafood-market corridor 30mi inland along the seaboards?
• Sep 8, 2016 4:45 PM@tedd4u @twitter @heyjoshua https://t.co/WoixZ8UGRy
• Sep 8, 2016 4:46 AMThis @Nightline piece on @FuckJerry pretty much explains mainstream media's failed reporting on the genelex & Trump. https://t.co/0k90BOPpxI
• Sep 8, 2016 4:39 AMRT @macros: Google docs is the worst wiki ever and you should feel bad for using it that way
• Sep 8, 2016 4:38 AMRT @tomgara: Did Nightline produce this whole segment not knowing that these things are scraped from somewhere else? https://t.co/4LKqplgUQN
• Sep 8, 2016 1:12 AM@Nightline or attribution. Though I'm betting that they are probably not accredited by ICANN to redistribute memes either.
• Sep 8, 2016 1:03 AM@zmanji @MesosUrDrunk @kts @davelester @wfarner @Yasumoto @trichris you should make this two polls
• Sep 8, 2016 1:02 AM@zmanji @MesosUrDrunk @kts @davelester @wfarner @Yasumoto @trichris you should make this a poll
• Sep 8, 2016 12:57 AM@Nightline that account knowingly steals the work of others without accreditation
• Sep 8, 2016 12:50 AMRT @jonnysun: hey @Nightline i'd love to talk to u abt how they steal everything & profit off the work of others but idk maybe thats not a…
• Sep 8, 2016 12:25 AM"We'll be moving in just a moment. There is a train ahead that is turning around at 24th street."
• Sep 7, 2016 8:15 PMIn today's episode of "Bored Managers at Work": Zalgo-textifying your calendar entries and meeting room reservations https://t.co/LtywFYzqcm 📷
• Sep 7, 2016 6:53 PM@burritojustice @VinBioDiesel announcing Beats™ "Your Ass" edition
• Sep 7, 2016 6:33 PMRT @cwarzel: WHY DIDNT THEY NAME THEM 'AIR BUDS' WHAT A MISSED OPPORTUNITY https://t.co/r3AWzkBfFn https://t.co/A5mtaoXjKE 📷
• Sep 7, 2016 6:30 PMI'm tempted to upgrade to the #iPhone7 just to prevent @pgarg from stealing my headphones.
• Sep 7, 2016 4:54 PMRT @kottke: Mina Markham: Pantsuit is the design system for Hillary for America https://t.co/eRR1eqDOae
• Sep 7, 2016 3:06 PM@laebshade I'm curious to know what you'll do with this data
• Sep 7, 2016 2:59 PM@jeffvandermeer gray cap hobo sign
• Sep 7, 2016 7:38 AM@sam @bx @greenberg and after we send them back the wall to keep them out wouldn't really need to be that tall...I reckon no more than 4ft.
• Sep 7, 2016 12:12 AMRT @dloft: Well said. Managers need to OWN recruiting, no matter how functional and talented their recruiting team is. https://t.co/7dhKd8Y…
• Sep 7, 2016 12:00 AM@greenberg I'd like to see both armed *and* unarmed toddler numbers in this report. The toddler lobby is obv. covering up the real threat.
• Sep 6, 2016 7:39 AMRT @SwiftOnSecurity: In the future, when a self-driving car is about to crash, it will go into a high-frequency bidding war to decide which…
• Sep 6, 2016 7:38 AM@taylorleese @PicardTips I fixed it for you: "On a Thursday, don't be afraid to let the crew see you in your pajamas via Google Hangout."
• Sep 6, 2016 6:06 AMEnd of vacation. https://t.co/GRZlyZ6WHr 📷
• Sep 6, 2016 12:50 AM@heyjoshua yikes!
• Sep 5, 2016 11:07 PMIt's George Saunders's world, we just live in it. https://t.co/QV7TKwZNvv
• Sep 5, 2016 5:13 PM“The air sucks anyway,” said Ben Poncher, drinking a beer next to the track. “Smoke’s pretty. I like seeing it.” https://t.co/pGz3IA6Ook
• Sep 5, 2016 8:25 AM@micheal :-(
• Sep 4, 2016 11:59 PMCurrent brother-in-law's destination wedding status. https://t.co/MpGKelDA5Z 📷
• Sep 4, 2016 7:37 PMA northern cardinal joined us poolside today. https://t.co/vCcflYG1ae 📷
• Sep 4, 2016 4:18 PM@srw it's been pretty chill weather-wise, unless you are heading to the Hilo-side of the island.
• Sep 4, 2016 2:02 PM@mgodave me neither...but coming up with that joke will be the sole focus of Twitter's JVM team going forward.
• Sep 4, 2016 9:06 AMLove these Java sparrows. Not as common as the mynah birds, but way more interesting. That beak! https://t.co/zQoK3NYMbY 📷
• Sep 4, 2016 7:20 AM@rsjaitly @petesouza wow...those birds
• Sep 3, 2016 10:30 PMRT @theaarondouglas: The Cylons were created by man. They evolved. They rebelled. There are many copies. And they have a plan. https://t.co…
• Sep 3, 2016 7:52 AM@skimatic FFS...
• Sep 3, 2016 2:08 AMRT @burritojustice: don’t tell me burning man rapture isn’t real https://t.co/vpdran5y1j 📷
• Sep 3, 2016 12:22 AMRT @goldengateblond: This looks like the last thing you'd see as the chloroform took effect. https://t.co/ThqN4pgz7s 📷
• Sep 3, 2016 12:03 AMRT @disc0stu: Xcode8 beta bug. Can't change font back. Serves me right. https://t.co/9yagdZ23Bk 📷
• Sep 2, 2016 6:05 PM@secretasianman @cchen :-(
• Sep 2, 2016 5:54 PM@TonyPrintezis I have discovered a truly marvellous proof of the equivalence of death and doom metal which 140 chars is too small to contain
• Sep 2, 2016 5:30 PMIf at least one of your JVM engineers isn't way into death metal, you might have hired the wrong JVM engineers. https://t.co/vx3v9TsSSk
• Sep 2, 2016 3:42 PMRT @pt: I predict mainstream Republicans will eventually come out in favor of the taco economy, but will insist on hard shells, lettuce, &…
• Sep 2, 2016 3:41 PMAn AI personal assistant with the voice of Michael Keaton that you invoke by saying "Beetlejuice!" three times.
• Sep 2, 2016 3:36 PMAll of my interactions with Apple's Siri app consist of me frantically trying to exit the Siri app after inadvertently invoking it.
• Sep 2, 2016 2:31 AM@jhamlett https://t.co/pLAIAcJSUP 🎥
• Sep 2, 2016 2:29 AM@zmanji @roach this and pronouncing "goals" as "gulls" are permanent side effects of working at Twitter.
• Sep 2, 2016 2:19 AMSpotted this Black-crowned night heron on a chill hike this afternoon. https://t.co/LKOzWthsZH 📷
• Sep 2, 2016 2:14 AM@AndMucc congrats!!!
• Sep 1, 2016 6:48 PM@SamOltman @mat @marygeorgant well first a slow wave of melancholy overtakes you as @facebook's algorithm surfaces increasingly sadder items
• Sep 1, 2016 5:17 PMRT @john_overholt: What if corporations thought of taxes as an investment in the stable environment they require in order to thrive? https:…
• Sep 1, 2016 5:14 PM@cs_marshall wow, how did that happen? /cc: @gargvik
• Sep 1, 2016 6:56 AMSaffron finches and common mynahs on the big island. https://t.co/0GJ6KxwobC 📷